Not everyone has the luxury of an hour to devote to sex every day, or even every week. But 15 minutes? Now that we can handle! Quick sex is the best to:
Perfect Your Hand Job
The humble hand job comes into its own ‑- literally ‑- during sex in public places. Apart from kissing, using your hands is the lowest-risk sexual activity ‑- and since it's how lots of us masturbate, the genitals respond nicely to the right type of touch. "Right" usually means she should do it harder and he should go softer (it's what each sex is most used to). Not much time? Go for a superfast orgasm for her by positioning her (sitting or standing) in front of you. Rest one palm on the top of her pubic bone and press down firmly, pushing forward, pulling back or moving in circles. Next, insert (well-lubricated) fingers: one inside her vagina, the other in her anus. It's a three-way she won't mind you suggesting ‑- or repeating. Blow him away (in all senses) by trying this technique: Twist your hands in opposite directions as you move up and down (one clockwise, one counterclockwise) or make two fists around his penis, hold them centrally, then move one downward and the other upward. Use one-word questions to ask for feedback (harder? faster?) so he only has to answer yes or no. Keep the rhythm constant, building up to a fast speed, then slow it down dramatically before moving back up again. Repeat several times, letting him hover on the brink, before tipping him over with a decided flourish.
Rediscover Kissing
Romance isn't hijacked by time. A 30-second meeting of mouths is all it takes to turn a quickie into sweet, tender lovemaking. Kissing is the first thing to go in a long-term relationship: Resurrect it and you'll save more than just your sex life. But it's not just dulled passion or overfamiliarity that stops some couples from puckering up. If you actually don't like the way your partner kisses, you'll be more than happy to plunk it in the "things we used to do, but what long-term couple still does?" basket. There's a simple but effective game you can try to fix this. It's called "kisses around the world," and it's best suggested when you're both a little giggly and buzzed and snuggling up after a great night out. Give your partner a little peck, then say "I wonder if people kiss differently around the world? I wonder how Eskimos really kiss. Probably like this..." Then proceed to kiss like an Eskimo, rubbing noses with him. He'll laugh, so it's easy enough from there to say "What about Italians, I think they'd kiss like this..." before you launch into that one. "How would a French person kiss?" you ask playfully, letting him in on the game. From there it's simply a case of saying "God, that French/Italian/Swedish kiss was hot. Can you do it again?" The next time he kisses you, whisper, "Do it Italian style" and voila! You've transformed an abysmal kisser into a great one ‑- with no one's feelings hurt in the process! If you can't reach each other's lips during certain quickie positions, bite, kiss or lick the body part closest to you. The more aroused we are, the more dulled our pain receptors ‑- the reason why a nip on the neck feels erotic during sex but just hurts the rest of the time.
Up Your Portfolio
The average couple alternates between the same three to four positions each time they have intercourse, despite there being more than 600 documented positions to choose from. Before you nominate yourselves for Sad Couple of the Year by fitting right into this category, seek refuge in the fact that virtually all are variants of five basic positions anyway. Besides, certain positions suit certain situations ‑- and moods. Tackling that upside-down one that makes the blood whoosh straight to your head could be just the thing when you're feeling energized and adventurous. Not so appealing when you've got a thumping headache and have just worked a 12-hour day. Quickies provide a great way to try out new, more difficult positions so you can expand your position portfolio. If you don't have to stay at it for long, you're much more likely to attempt something more challenging! Too tired to do anything but missionary? Spice up an old favorite by adding a twist: During intercourse, try mirroring your mouth action to his thrusting, so your tongues are imitating the action of his penis. Once you've mirrored the thrusting speed, you can slow him down or speed him up as you please by simply altering your tongue speed. He'll subconsciously try to keep pace.
Make the Most of Her on Top
Given that thrusting is usually his job, some women aren't confident masters of the old in-and-out and struggle using just their thigh muscles. Again, far less threatening if she knows it's just a quickie and she's not in it for the long haul; it's much more likely she'll give it the old college try. Next time, get her to make like a frog and squat so her feet are on the floor ‑- it allows much more leverage. Switch her over so she's on top when she's feeling body-proud, horny as hell and in the mood to be boss. If she needs further convincing tell her this: Rear-entry or any position where she's sitting or squatting over you works best to stimulate a patch of supersensitive skin about two-thirds of the way up from the vaginal entrance on the front wall of the vagina. Nicknamed the "A" spot, it's way up there and hard to reach with fingers, but deep penetration positions sometimes do the trick. Once she's had her (first) orgasm, switch back into missionary. It's got a goody-goody, prissy reputation, but there's a reason why most of us use it a lot of the time: There's full body and eye contact and you can touch faces and hold hands. An intimate ending to a lusty start. Slide a pillow under her hips to turn predictable into predictably pleasurable.
Monday, April 23, 2007
The more sex you have, the more the bounce!
Many people simply enjoy a healthy sex life because sex is pleasurable. Now there's another reason to stay under the sheets; there are substantial health benefits of sex. Enjoying a rigorous romp can do wonders for everyone both physically and psychologically. Now, men everywhere can tell their ladies that sex is not only for fun, but, since there are health benefits of sex, their lives may depend on it.
The following are six different reasons why sex and sexual activity may help you live a longer, happier life due to the health benefits of sex:
Sex can cure headaches
All those times that you were told, "Not tonight honey, I have a headache," all you had to do was inform your woman that one of the health benefits of sex is its ability to act as a pain reliever. The hormone oxytocin (a nine amino acid peptide that is synthesized in hypothalamic neurons and transported down axons of the posterior pituitary for secretion into blood) secretes within your body whenever you engage in sexual activity.
Because of this secretion, endorphins (hormone-like chemicals that bear a close functional resemblance to morphine) are released. When a person is aroused or excited, oxytocin levels not only begin to increase, they are the reason that orgasms come about. Studies have shown that a rise in oxytocin levels can relieve pain; everything from headaches, cramps and overall body aches can be diminished with a simple roll in the hay.
Reduce stress, sleep well
A recent survey revealed that people who have more sex reported that they felt more at ease, happier and learned how to handle stress better. So perhaps the term "sexual frustration" is not too far from the truth.
After an orgasm, an intense wave of calm and relaxation overcomes humans (that's why men usually fall asleep) and it's a time when people can truly liberate themselves and let go. Plenty of people who enjoy a regular dose of sex convey that they sleep much better during the night and feel alive and refreshed throughout the day. So, one of the health benefits of sex is a better nights sleep, which allows you to handle day-to-day stress much more efficiently.
Increase blood flow
It goes without saying that when we get aroused our blood starts to pump at a quicker rate and, thus, blood flow to our brain increases. Both an increased heart rate and more blood pumping through the brain result in better performance (in and out of the bedroom).
What this ultimately means is that the fresh supply of blood pumping through your body provides the organs with a healthy dose of oxygen and rids the body of old and wasteful products. So, another health benefit of sex is a cleansed system. Treat your temple right with the help of a little excitement
Body maintenance
One of the health benefits of sex is that it helps to keep you fit and it can keep you in constant awareness of your body image. Everyone likes to know that they have a nice physique and continually being naked in front of another person can be somewhat of a good incentive to stay in shape.
Believe it or not, sexual intercourse burns off 150 calories every half hour. Although the average couple engages in sex for approximately 25 minutes a session only three times a week, it still accounts for 450 calories that are better taken off than put on.
If you're more active than average, then that will only make things more beneficial for you and that lucky gal. A health benefit of sex, particularly a rigorous hour of sex, is that it may burn even more than 300 calories depending on how rigorous you get.
Fountain of youth
Although the orgasm is sometimes referred to as the "little death," having at least two orgasms a week can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) increases in response to sexual excitement and ejaculation.
DHEA can boost your immune system, repair tissue, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, a health benefit of sex if you keep the orgasms coming, is potentially a longer life.
More hormones are good
Both testosterone and estrogen levels experience a boost through regular sexual activity. Testosterone does more than just boost your sex drive, it helps fortify bones and muscles, and it keeps your heart in good working condition as well.
In women, sex increases the levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Ever wonder why women love the touchy, feely stuff so much? It's because of their rise in estrogen levels. This hormone also plays a huge role in a woman's body scent. While estrogen makes women sentimental, a rise in their testosterone levels is what makes them desire penetration.
Men also produce estrogen and as they age, their estrogen levels increase while their testosterone levels drop. This reversal often results in men becoming somewhat calmer as they get on in years.
Health benefits of sex galore
It's quite evident that there are many health benefits of sex. It increases brain power, heart rate, it can help fend off diseases and ailments, and it makes individuals feel good about themselves. In today's stressful society, it has become a little more difficult to engage in intimate sexuality as often, but as long as you incessantly make the effort, you'll realize that it's always worth it.
The health benefits of sex will make you feel wonderful within and without and you will gradually notice that the more sex you have, the more bounce you will have in each step. Happiness isn't sex itself, but sex does ultimately play a role in human happiness.
The following are six different reasons why sex and sexual activity may help you live a longer, happier life due to the health benefits of sex:
Sex can cure headaches
All those times that you were told, "Not tonight honey, I have a headache," all you had to do was inform your woman that one of the health benefits of sex is its ability to act as a pain reliever. The hormone oxytocin (a nine amino acid peptide that is synthesized in hypothalamic neurons and transported down axons of the posterior pituitary for secretion into blood) secretes within your body whenever you engage in sexual activity.
Because of this secretion, endorphins (hormone-like chemicals that bear a close functional resemblance to morphine) are released. When a person is aroused or excited, oxytocin levels not only begin to increase, they are the reason that orgasms come about. Studies have shown that a rise in oxytocin levels can relieve pain; everything from headaches, cramps and overall body aches can be diminished with a simple roll in the hay.
Reduce stress, sleep well
A recent survey revealed that people who have more sex reported that they felt more at ease, happier and learned how to handle stress better. So perhaps the term "sexual frustration" is not too far from the truth.
After an orgasm, an intense wave of calm and relaxation overcomes humans (that's why men usually fall asleep) and it's a time when people can truly liberate themselves and let go. Plenty of people who enjoy a regular dose of sex convey that they sleep much better during the night and feel alive and refreshed throughout the day. So, one of the health benefits of sex is a better nights sleep, which allows you to handle day-to-day stress much more efficiently.
Increase blood flow
It goes without saying that when we get aroused our blood starts to pump at a quicker rate and, thus, blood flow to our brain increases. Both an increased heart rate and more blood pumping through the brain result in better performance (in and out of the bedroom).
What this ultimately means is that the fresh supply of blood pumping through your body provides the organs with a healthy dose of oxygen and rids the body of old and wasteful products. So, another health benefit of sex is a cleansed system. Treat your temple right with the help of a little excitement
Body maintenance
One of the health benefits of sex is that it helps to keep you fit and it can keep you in constant awareness of your body image. Everyone likes to know that they have a nice physique and continually being naked in front of another person can be somewhat of a good incentive to stay in shape.
Believe it or not, sexual intercourse burns off 150 calories every half hour. Although the average couple engages in sex for approximately 25 minutes a session only three times a week, it still accounts for 450 calories that are better taken off than put on.
If you're more active than average, then that will only make things more beneficial for you and that lucky gal. A health benefit of sex, particularly a rigorous hour of sex, is that it may burn even more than 300 calories depending on how rigorous you get.
Fountain of youth
Although the orgasm is sometimes referred to as the "little death," having at least two orgasms a week can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) increases in response to sexual excitement and ejaculation.
DHEA can boost your immune system, repair tissue, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, a health benefit of sex if you keep the orgasms coming, is potentially a longer life.
More hormones are good
Both testosterone and estrogen levels experience a boost through regular sexual activity. Testosterone does more than just boost your sex drive, it helps fortify bones and muscles, and it keeps your heart in good working condition as well.
In women, sex increases the levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Ever wonder why women love the touchy, feely stuff so much? It's because of their rise in estrogen levels. This hormone also plays a huge role in a woman's body scent. While estrogen makes women sentimental, a rise in their testosterone levels is what makes them desire penetration.
Men also produce estrogen and as they age, their estrogen levels increase while their testosterone levels drop. This reversal often results in men becoming somewhat calmer as they get on in years.
Health benefits of sex galore
It's quite evident that there are many health benefits of sex. It increases brain power, heart rate, it can help fend off diseases and ailments, and it makes individuals feel good about themselves. In today's stressful society, it has become a little more difficult to engage in intimate sexuality as often, but as long as you incessantly make the effort, you'll realize that it's always worth it.
The health benefits of sex will make you feel wonderful within and without and you will gradually notice that the more sex you have, the more bounce you will have in each step. Happiness isn't sex itself, but sex does ultimately play a role in human happiness.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Porn star secrets
Whether you hate that your guy watches porn or opt to watch it with him, you always wonder about one thing: the mystique of the porn star. She's everything a good girl doesn't want to be — except in the bedroom. Wish you could mesmerize your man like his favorite video vixen? Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was a Liar, has compiled a cheat sheet of porn babes' best-kept secrets. Once you know what they know, you can try the tricks at home — no overprocessed hair or camcorder required. Your man will be putty in your hands, but the biggest payoff? You will end up more satisfied in the process!
1. Show a Little Enthusiasm, Baby!
Good Girl Approach: Many of us have been taught that sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango, you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.
Porn Babe Secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation — and they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching television.
Tantalizing Tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be with him.
2. Speak Up!
Good Girl Approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will make you seem like a tramp.
Porn Babe Secret: Toss the dated worries — liking sex doesn't make you a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that special spot, or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment! Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.
Tantalizing Tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to offend you.
3. Love Those Thighs!
Good Girl Approach: You hate your hips, your backside is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.
Porn Babe Secret: They know that men love sex — he's absolutely thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body insecurity or two.
Tantalizing Tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections. Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes!
4. Know Thyself!
Good Girl Approach: You find masturbation embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you do).
Porn Babe Secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map!
Tantalizing Tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy. After a few solo sessions, bring your man into the action for a steamy one-on-one lesson.
5. Get a New Bedtime Script!
Good Girl Approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much racier than a few "oh, baby's" tossed in with a few "you feel so good's."
Porn Babe Secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make him explode.
Tantalizing Tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here] you?"
6. Get a Little Uncomfortable!
Good Girl Approach: Your weekend look of sweats and ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.
Porn Babe Secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in business!). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the experience.
Tantalizing Tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants, or meet him at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as well as his, um, interest.
7. Come On, Gals, Fantasize!
Good Girl Approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do — and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is enough to bring you to tears.
Porn Babe Secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is healthy aspect of sexuality.
Tantalizing Tip: Try verbal exploration! Talk him through a threesome or ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not only spark amazing sex, but they will also build trust and intimacy, which is always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios), and remember, comfort is key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.
8. Get Creative with the Merchandise!
Good Girl Approach: You have an idea of what works for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…
Porn Babe Secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons — from his toes to the back of his neck — and that half the fun is finding out what works and what doesn't.
Tantalizing Tip: Gently pinch or bite his nipples or kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below-the-belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his penis and his anus).
9. Be a Little Selfish!
Good Girl Approach: You're tired and overworked, and you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take that Spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister (again).
Porn Babe Secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn babes make self-maintenance a high priority.
Tantalizing Tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only boost your confidence, it will make you glow — and that's hotter than any bustier on the market.
10. Stop Doing Favors!
Good Girl Approach: You perform oral sex as a "gift" for whatever special day, or tell him that if he's good, you'll let him try a new position.
Porn Babe Secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.
Tantalizing Tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to give him a blow job — your turning him on is.
1. Show a Little Enthusiasm, Baby!
Good Girl Approach: Many of us have been taught that sex is not a high priority, so when your guy wants to do the horizontal tango, you make excuses or treat it like another chore on your to-do list.
Porn Babe Secret: They enjoy what feels good without reservation — and they show their partners how excited they are by engaging them with their speech and movements. They understand that diving into the sack with someone who isn't into it is like sharing a "romantic" meal with someone who's watching television.
Tantalizing Tip: Take the initiative! Wake him up with a below-the-belt kiss. Send him a naughty text message midway through the day. In bed, get into the moment by looking into his eyes and telling him how eager you are to be with him.
2. Speak Up!
Good Girl Approach: Your sack sessions hardly leave you invigorated, but you're scared that any attempt to spice things up will make you seem like a tramp.
Porn Babe Secret: Toss the dated worries — liking sex doesn't make you a hussy; it makes you human. Tell him how much you enjoy it when he kisses that special spot, or mention something you're craving in the heat of the moment! Just asking for something new can be a huge turn-on for both partners.
Tantalizing Tip: Pop open a bottle of wine and initiate a little game of truth-or-dare. Or surprise him with a spicy flick and point out the scenes you'd be open to trying. There's a good chance he'd like to experiment, too, but is keeping it to himself because he doesn't want to offend you.
3. Love Those Thighs!
Good Girl Approach: You hate your hips, your backside is less than baby-smooth, blah, blah, blah.
Porn Babe Secret: They know that men love sex — he's absolutely thrilled when your thighs are wrapped around him, dimples and all. He would never forgo what feels good to accommodate something as silly as a body insecurity or two.
Tantalizing Tip: Illuminate the bedroom, living room or even kitchen with candles, which give a soft glow that glides over perceived imperfections. Give him the visualization he craves and get off (pun intended) on the fact that you are the reason for every moan and squirm your man makes!
4. Know Thyself!
Good Girl Approach: You find masturbation embarrassing or shameful, so you rarely try it (and never admit to it when you do).
Porn Babe Secret: Make like a seasoned porn babe and figure out what works for you by caressing your thighs, breasts and everything in between. Not knowing what feels good is like taking a cross-country road trip without a map!
Tantalizing Tip: If you're like many gals and the manual approach leaves you feeling less than thrilled, simply find something else to tickle your fancy. After a few solo sessions, bring your man into the action for a steamy one-on-one lesson.
5. Get a New Bedtime Script!
Good Girl Approach: Your pillow talk doesn't get much racier than a few "oh, baby's" tossed in with a few "you feel so good's."
Porn Babe Secret: Men are competitive by nature, and they love to know they are the best at whatever it is they're doing, including you. Porn babes know that just hearing a female verbally tap into the action is enough to make him explode.
Tantalizing Tip: Get comfy with the saucy talk by writing down some sexy thoughts and reading them out loud alone a few times. In bed, start small by giving him a play-by-play of the action, telling him what he's doing to you or asking questions such as, "Do you like it when I [insert verb here] you?"
6. Get a Little Uncomfortable!
Good Girl Approach: Your weekend look of sweats and ponytails has become as fun as your weekly date with the treadmill. Sound exciting? Yeah, we didn't think so.
Porn Babe Secret: Men are visual creatures (that's why porn babes are in business!). These gals work this to their advantage and don sexy lingerie and even (gulp!) keep their heels on during the deed, all to enhance the experience.
Tantalizing Tip: Slip on a thong underneath your yoga pants, or meet him at home in nothing but heels and a great hairdo. Surprising him with something new will show him that he's worth the effort, which will spark his heart as well as his, um, interest.
7. Come On, Gals, Fantasize!
Good Girl Approach: You'd never admit to daydreaming about being intimate with two men or kissing another woman, even if you do — and the thought of your man having a sex dream about Heidi Klum in bed is enough to bring you to tears.
Porn Babe Secret: They do things most of us wouldn't, but the lesson is in their approach, not in their actions. They don't judge the desires of their partners or take offense at what turns them on. Just because your guy fantasizes about a threesome doesn't mean he doesn't love you or even that he would want to participate in one in real life. As long as the boundaries of your relationship are maintained, fantasizing is healthy aspect of sexuality.
Tantalizing Tip: Try verbal exploration! Talk him through a threesome or ask him to pretend he's a stranger. Sharing these kinds of experiences will not only spark amazing sex, but they will also build trust and intimacy, which is always sexy. Discuss boundaries beforehand (some couples have a code word to signal the other to stop when acting out scenarios), and remember, comfort is key, so don't participate in anything that makes you uncomfortable.
8. Get Creative with the Merchandise!
Good Girl Approach: You have an idea of what works for your guy, which is why you do it again and again and…
Porn Babe Secret: They know their partner has dozens of hot buttons — from his toes to the back of his neck — and that half the fun is finding out what works and what doesn't.
Tantalizing Tip: Gently pinch or bite his nipples or kiss his chest and stroke his stomach gently with your nails. When you go below-the-belt, pay attention to all parts of the package by gently tracing his scrotum with your tongue or pressing on his perineum (the area between his penis and his anus).
9. Be a Little Selfish!
Good Girl Approach: You're tired and overworked, and you haven't been to the gym in ages. You'd love to get your hair done and take that Spinning class, but you promised you'd run errands for your sister (again).
Porn Babe Secret: While good girls are taught to deprive themselves, porn babes make self-maintenance a high priority.
Tantalizing Tip: Whether it's a manicure, a blowout or just slathering on a luxurious cream before bed, do something that makes you feel and look good more than once a month. Feeling like you're worth the splurge will not only boost your confidence, it will make you glow — and that's hotter than any bustier on the market.
10. Stop Doing Favors!
Good Girl Approach: You perform oral sex as a "gift" for whatever special day, or tell him that if he's good, you'll let him try a new position.
Porn Babe Secret: Sexual desire is not a male-specific attribute, nor is it something that should be rationed. In fact, it's practically as essential to a full life as food, water and shelter. Porn babes do things they know their partner will enjoy, while asking for what they want in return.
Tantalizing Tip: No one wants to feel like they are being manipulated or treated like a charity case, so keep the bureaucracy out of the bedroom. Find out what your partner likes, and as long as you are comfortable with it, give it to him generously. The only "requirement" you should have is that he reciprocate on the same level. His taking out the trash isn't a reason to give him a blow job — your turning him on is.
What women REALLY want?
Women have high expectations for nearly every area of their lives, but when it comes to sex, they settle for less.
And most women keep their dissatisfaction with sex a secret, leaving their partners (let alone their doctors) in the dark, said Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist who focuses on women’s sexuality at the University of Virginia Health System.
“Whereas men, if they have trouble with sex, it’s a crisis. They run to the doctor and say ‘I need something for this.’ Women don’t do that. They just sort of stuff it down and push it further down on the list,” Clayton said.
With surveys and years of clinical experience, Clayton has compiled a vast collection of data on women’s sex lives. Often, she said, a female patient would visit her with issues like marital problems or depression, and only when directly asked about sex, the patient would divulge dissatisfaction.
Clayton attributes several factors to a woman’s lack of sexual satisfaction, including:
Sex gets shoved to the bottom of the “to do” list for women. And when they do have sex it becomes just another task. Women are not getting their emotional needs met during sex. An orgasm might not be the point. Many women strive for unrealistic physical perfection seen in the media and are unhappy with some aspect of their physical bodies. Women don’t ask for what they want in bed, fearing their partner will be hurt or leave them. Medications such as antidepressants can reduce a woman’s libido and ability to reach orgasm.
Some women did complain about difficulty reaching orgasm or lack of sexual desire, but frequently they just felt an overall letdown regarding sex, Clayton said.
What is mediocre sex? “It tends to be this feeling that they’re not satisfied and a lot of times that’s on an emotional level. They might have had an orgasm. But many women don’t feel like [an orgasm is] the end-all, be-all every time they have sex,” Clayton explained.
Not knowing why they feel so deflated after sex, women assume it’s their fault or they just don’t bring up the topic to their partner. Plus, Clayton said women don’t have a clear awareness of their sexual desires because of social, cultural or religious beliefs that label such female wants as shameful.
Outside pressures impact a woman’s view of her body, which can make having sex even less appealing.
“Women are so obsessed with our physical appearance, and we really are trying to achieve some idealized woman’s body that we see in the media. We always feel like we’re lacking,” Clayton told LiveScience.
Instead, they focus on the ever-growing to-do list and sex becomes another task at the very bottom of the list.
“Work and family come first. We end up putting sex low on the priority list,” Clayton said. “Then when our partner initiates sex, it’s just another task. I really believe that we as women accept a level of dissatisfaction that we don’t need to accept.”
Tips for Success
To ramp up sexual satisfaction, Clayton suggests both partners can play a role.
For one, women should know that the perfect body doesn’t equal good sex. “You don’t have to be a sexy bombshell-looking person to have great sex. It’s really not about that. We might think that Victoria’s Secret models have a great sex life, but their sex life is no better than anybody else’s,” Clayton said.
A confident, sexy attitude and an openness to explore sensuality can breathe life into lackluster sex. Also, women can give a higher priority to sex, holding the laundry for another day.
Guys can be more open to talking about what a woman wants in bed, to the point of initiating the conversation, Clayton said. And to make more time for sex, she said, men can help a girlfriend or wife with tasks around the house.
And most women keep their dissatisfaction with sex a secret, leaving their partners (let alone their doctors) in the dark, said Anita Clayton, a psychiatrist who focuses on women’s sexuality at the University of Virginia Health System.
“Whereas men, if they have trouble with sex, it’s a crisis. They run to the doctor and say ‘I need something for this.’ Women don’t do that. They just sort of stuff it down and push it further down on the list,” Clayton said.
With surveys and years of clinical experience, Clayton has compiled a vast collection of data on women’s sex lives. Often, she said, a female patient would visit her with issues like marital problems or depression, and only when directly asked about sex, the patient would divulge dissatisfaction.
Clayton attributes several factors to a woman’s lack of sexual satisfaction, including:
Sex gets shoved to the bottom of the “to do” list for women. And when they do have sex it becomes just another task. Women are not getting their emotional needs met during sex. An orgasm might not be the point. Many women strive for unrealistic physical perfection seen in the media and are unhappy with some aspect of their physical bodies. Women don’t ask for what they want in bed, fearing their partner will be hurt or leave them. Medications such as antidepressants can reduce a woman’s libido and ability to reach orgasm.
Some women did complain about difficulty reaching orgasm or lack of sexual desire, but frequently they just felt an overall letdown regarding sex, Clayton said.
What is mediocre sex? “It tends to be this feeling that they’re not satisfied and a lot of times that’s on an emotional level. They might have had an orgasm. But many women don’t feel like [an orgasm is] the end-all, be-all every time they have sex,” Clayton explained.
Not knowing why they feel so deflated after sex, women assume it’s their fault or they just don’t bring up the topic to their partner. Plus, Clayton said women don’t have a clear awareness of their sexual desires because of social, cultural or religious beliefs that label such female wants as shameful.
Outside pressures impact a woman’s view of her body, which can make having sex even less appealing.
“Women are so obsessed with our physical appearance, and we really are trying to achieve some idealized woman’s body that we see in the media. We always feel like we’re lacking,” Clayton told LiveScience.
Instead, they focus on the ever-growing to-do list and sex becomes another task at the very bottom of the list.
“Work and family come first. We end up putting sex low on the priority list,” Clayton said. “Then when our partner initiates sex, it’s just another task. I really believe that we as women accept a level of dissatisfaction that we don’t need to accept.”
Tips for Success
To ramp up sexual satisfaction, Clayton suggests both partners can play a role.
For one, women should know that the perfect body doesn’t equal good sex. “You don’t have to be a sexy bombshell-looking person to have great sex. It’s really not about that. We might think that Victoria’s Secret models have a great sex life, but their sex life is no better than anybody else’s,” Clayton said.
A confident, sexy attitude and an openness to explore sensuality can breathe life into lackluster sex. Also, women can give a higher priority to sex, holding the laundry for another day.
Guys can be more open to talking about what a woman wants in bed, to the point of initiating the conversation, Clayton said. And to make more time for sex, she said, men can help a girlfriend or wife with tasks around the house.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Think you know how to give oral sex? Try this
Whether you've performed oral sex on him once or dozens of times, you've never done it like this! After graduating from Oral Sex 101, it's time to amp up your original moves by trying any (or all) of the following twists.
Get Lewd with Food
Watching a woman lick his penis is just about every guy's idea of heaven. Watching a woman lick cream/honey/yogurt off his penis sends him to sexual nirvana. Smear it, drip it on and lick it off ‑- food is such a versatile sex toy that the possibilities are endless. Whipped cream? Been there. Go all out with raspberry syrup, mangoes, berries and chocolate sauce ‑- all at once if you fancy it! Most foods (with the exception of spicy ones) are safe to smear on the outside of the genitals, but be a little careful with oily foods if you're using condoms, since oil breaks down latex.
Do It Somewhere Daring
Getting oral sex while driving fast along a highway in a convertible (car: red, girl: blonde) is a typical teenage boy's fantasy. But when you're younger, you tend not to think things like "If he's having an orgasm, he's not exactly paying attention to driving" or "This could be fun but could also kill us." Therefore, a lesser ‑- but no less appealing ‑- version of this is to casually reach across the car, unzip and expose him, then dispense a leisurely hand job that keeps him standing at attention but doesn't bring him to climax. Shift to using your mouth when you arrive at your destination. Other places to go down on him that are daring but a little less so: in the bathroom at a party, on a balcony with his top half in view but you hidden, and up against the front door inside your apartment when he was previously on his way out the door to work.
Lick It Like It's a Lollipop
This one is often used in porn films, because it allows him to see exactly what's going on. It's best done on your knees, and depending on your heights he might need to stand on something (you need direct access to his testicles). Start by lifting his penis to expose his testicles, then find the line that runs up between them (it's a tiny ridge that's often a darker color). Find where this starts on the underside of his testicles, and that's where the long lick starts ‑- continuing, very slowly, right to the tip of his penis. Repeat the full-length licks until you've done at least 10, then move into one of the other techniques.
Go All the Way
Begin the oral sex by covering your teeth with your lips and then taking as much of him in your mouth as you can ‑- in one wonderful movement. I'm not saying you have to "deep throat." Just let him see his penis disappear rapidly. Most women start by licking the head, then take him little by little inside. He won't be expecting a full-length shaft swallow right away ‑- which is why it works so well to impress him!
Fisting for Nice Girls
Use one hand to hold the base of the penis, and let saliva pool in your mouth (your tongue needs to keep him nice and slippery). Make a loose fist with your other hand and slide it up and down his penis, closing it when you reach the head. Get the hand motion right first, then add your mouth, letting your hand act as an extension of it. Create a snug vacuum (but don't suck), then slide up and down, your hand following your mouth. If you're not the most coordinated person, hold your hand still at the base of the penis and simply move your mouth up and down.
Add Oomph
Spice up any oral technique by adding the "twist and swirl." The combination of firm fingers and a soft tongue feels fantastic, and it's easy to master: As you're using your hand to masturbate him, twist it slightly once it reaches the head. At the same time, swirl the flat of your tongue around the rim of the head. It's a simple but oh-so-effective move! Also try frenulum flicks: Use a tensed tongue to flick it, or make like a butterfly and "flutter" your tongue on his frenulum.
Star in His Favorite Porn
Love it or hate it, one of the reasons why men are so fond of pornography is that it's so overexaggerated. Add erotic flair to your repertoire by kissing him while you're both standing up, then dropping to your knees rather dramatically. Use one hand to guide his penis into your mouth, then ‑- maintaining intense eye contact throughout ‑- reach up with both hands to tweak his nipples. The "Look, Mum, no hands!" pose looks far more accomplished than it is, but it will score you big oral sex brownie points. If you want to rate off the scale, follow it up with this next little number.
Back Him Up
As he's getting undressed, lie on the bed with your head where your feet usually go, rather than perched on the pillows. As he walks toward the bed, slide down so your head is hanging over the bed, grab his buttock cheeks and take his penis into your mouth. Your head should be off the bed as you give him oral sex upside down. He's ultimately in control of the thrusting, but you can use your hands as a guide to speed him up or slow him down. Not only does this look sexy, but it also opens your throat wide so you can take in more of him without gagging.
Ball Games
The greatest compliment you can give him is looking like you want to be down in that area. And one of the best ways to demonstrate this is to explore all of it. Take one or both testicles in your mouth, hum lightly, suck gently and swirl your tongue around them. (Note: If you don't want to swallow when he ejaculates, switching to testicle stimulation while continuing to stimulate him with your hand is a good alternative.) Also, lick his perineum (between his testicles and anus), and while you're down there...
Give Him "Analingus"
Oral anal stimulation that involves licking, flicking or inserting a stiff tongue into the anal passage and thrusting feels great (for both sexes, actually), because the area is highly sensitive and loaded with nerve endings. If you're worried about germs or STDs, or if you're generally squeamish, put a barrier between the area and you, such as a piece of plastic wrap or a cut-open condom. Lots of guys love this, but many are too shy to tell you. So pretending it's your favorite thing to do (even if it isn't) takes care of that without awkwardness: If you like doing it, well, he has to indulge you, doesn't he?
Get Lewd with Food
Watching a woman lick his penis is just about every guy's idea of heaven. Watching a woman lick cream/honey/yogurt off his penis sends him to sexual nirvana. Smear it, drip it on and lick it off ‑- food is such a versatile sex toy that the possibilities are endless. Whipped cream? Been there. Go all out with raspberry syrup, mangoes, berries and chocolate sauce ‑- all at once if you fancy it! Most foods (with the exception of spicy ones) are safe to smear on the outside of the genitals, but be a little careful with oily foods if you're using condoms, since oil breaks down latex.
Do It Somewhere Daring
Getting oral sex while driving fast along a highway in a convertible (car: red, girl: blonde) is a typical teenage boy's fantasy. But when you're younger, you tend not to think things like "If he's having an orgasm, he's not exactly paying attention to driving" or "This could be fun but could also kill us." Therefore, a lesser ‑- but no less appealing ‑- version of this is to casually reach across the car, unzip and expose him, then dispense a leisurely hand job that keeps him standing at attention but doesn't bring him to climax. Shift to using your mouth when you arrive at your destination. Other places to go down on him that are daring but a little less so: in the bathroom at a party, on a balcony with his top half in view but you hidden, and up against the front door inside your apartment when he was previously on his way out the door to work.
Lick It Like It's a Lollipop
This one is often used in porn films, because it allows him to see exactly what's going on. It's best done on your knees, and depending on your heights he might need to stand on something (you need direct access to his testicles). Start by lifting his penis to expose his testicles, then find the line that runs up between them (it's a tiny ridge that's often a darker color). Find where this starts on the underside of his testicles, and that's where the long lick starts ‑- continuing, very slowly, right to the tip of his penis. Repeat the full-length licks until you've done at least 10, then move into one of the other techniques.
Go All the Way
Begin the oral sex by covering your teeth with your lips and then taking as much of him in your mouth as you can ‑- in one wonderful movement. I'm not saying you have to "deep throat." Just let him see his penis disappear rapidly. Most women start by licking the head, then take him little by little inside. He won't be expecting a full-length shaft swallow right away ‑- which is why it works so well to impress him!
Fisting for Nice Girls
Use one hand to hold the base of the penis, and let saliva pool in your mouth (your tongue needs to keep him nice and slippery). Make a loose fist with your other hand and slide it up and down his penis, closing it when you reach the head. Get the hand motion right first, then add your mouth, letting your hand act as an extension of it. Create a snug vacuum (but don't suck), then slide up and down, your hand following your mouth. If you're not the most coordinated person, hold your hand still at the base of the penis and simply move your mouth up and down.
Add Oomph
Spice up any oral technique by adding the "twist and swirl." The combination of firm fingers and a soft tongue feels fantastic, and it's easy to master: As you're using your hand to masturbate him, twist it slightly once it reaches the head. At the same time, swirl the flat of your tongue around the rim of the head. It's a simple but oh-so-effective move! Also try frenulum flicks: Use a tensed tongue to flick it, or make like a butterfly and "flutter" your tongue on his frenulum.
Star in His Favorite Porn
Love it or hate it, one of the reasons why men are so fond of pornography is that it's so overexaggerated. Add erotic flair to your repertoire by kissing him while you're both standing up, then dropping to your knees rather dramatically. Use one hand to guide his penis into your mouth, then ‑- maintaining intense eye contact throughout ‑- reach up with both hands to tweak his nipples. The "Look, Mum, no hands!" pose looks far more accomplished than it is, but it will score you big oral sex brownie points. If you want to rate off the scale, follow it up with this next little number.
Back Him Up
As he's getting undressed, lie on the bed with your head where your feet usually go, rather than perched on the pillows. As he walks toward the bed, slide down so your head is hanging over the bed, grab his buttock cheeks and take his penis into your mouth. Your head should be off the bed as you give him oral sex upside down. He's ultimately in control of the thrusting, but you can use your hands as a guide to speed him up or slow him down. Not only does this look sexy, but it also opens your throat wide so you can take in more of him without gagging.
Ball Games
The greatest compliment you can give him is looking like you want to be down in that area. And one of the best ways to demonstrate this is to explore all of it. Take one or both testicles in your mouth, hum lightly, suck gently and swirl your tongue around them. (Note: If you don't want to swallow when he ejaculates, switching to testicle stimulation while continuing to stimulate him with your hand is a good alternative.) Also, lick his perineum (between his testicles and anus), and while you're down there...
Give Him "Analingus"
Oral anal stimulation that involves licking, flicking or inserting a stiff tongue into the anal passage and thrusting feels great (for both sexes, actually), because the area is highly sensitive and loaded with nerve endings. If you're worried about germs or STDs, or if you're generally squeamish, put a barrier between the area and you, such as a piece of plastic wrap or a cut-open condom. Lots of guys love this, but many are too shy to tell you. So pretending it's your favorite thing to do (even if it isn't) takes care of that without awkwardness: If you like doing it, well, he has to indulge you, doesn't he?
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